As this year comes to an end I can’t help myself from feeling so damn grateful that it’s over. This one has been a toughie, folks! 2017 has tested our little family in every way, shape, and form. We have struggled, a LOT, to come to terms with where our life is and the road blocks that have lead us here. I’m at peace mentally and emotionally for the first time in a long time, and that feels perfectly aligned with a new year dawning. I love this season. I love cold weather and Christmas just having passed. It’s a time for reflection. So I thought I would share our 2017 hurdles, road blocks, and highlights with you all!
We moved three, yes, THREE times this year! We started in Utah and made the really tough decision to move back to our hometown in Central California. A couple of cross-town moves later we’ve found the place we’re happy to call home for the time being. I’m sure I’ll be itching for some new adventure before our lease is up, that’s just my nature, but for now we’re really happy with where we are.
Infertility, Pregnancy, and Miscarriage
Our closest circle of people know we have been trying to have a baby for a couple of years now. This year was a whirlwind of emotion on our continuing road to becoming parents. After over a year of trying on our own and a few months of treatment with a specialist, this May we found out I was pregnant. We were over the moon, but after a few blissful (and also very complicated) weeks I had a miscarriage. It’s a really strange thing to have my most favorite memory from this year also be the most painful. This has been the hardest trial of the hardest year of both of our lives. We have had to re-adjust our expectations and dreams of a tiny family. A part of our family will always be missing, and that has been the toughest pill to swallow. We’re extremely thankful we were close to family and friends through all this, because those sweet humans carried us through and have loved us so well through the trial that feels never-ending.
The In Between
While the moves and hardships are the things that really stand out about this year, there were so many beautiful, spontaneous, pure magic moments that accompanied the bad or ugly times. This was a year of beach trips, fishing with friends, our first blizzard, Hamilton on Broadway, Olallieberry crisp, pink hair, movie marathons, target dates and sunsets. These are all simple, small things, but they are everything to me. And if it weren’t for our trials that felt larger-than-life, I wouldn’t have even noticed the sweetness of these little moments. This was the year of self-discovery. This year that made us softer. This year helped us love better. And when we love better, we are better.
I’m so grateful for those who visit my little corner of the internet and take interest in what my heart is telling my to put out into the universe. I know I’m not the only one who struggled this year, and if you’re in that place, still struggling, or feeling hopeless, just know it passes. Like everything in life, it ebbs and flows. Learning that and accepting it is half the struggle. I genuinely love y’all so much. I hope your 2018 is filled with intention, gratitude, overwhelming love & living your best life.